why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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