its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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