I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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