So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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