We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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