In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
