That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
