Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
