Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
