i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
