I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
