There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
