I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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