my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
