i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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