whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
