I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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