Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
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