her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
