i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
