At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
