i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Randomize
