everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
