Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
