Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Randomize
