I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
