I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
