So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
