why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
