he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
