the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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