dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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