I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
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