In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
