Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
