watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
