Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
