I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
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My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize