I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
