Umm I'm too high to move.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
