He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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