It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
