i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
