yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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