i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
