Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
