cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
