And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
