That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
