Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
