Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
