He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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