then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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