your thong is hanging out like whoa
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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