She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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