im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
40s are totally the cure
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
