i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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