I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
