Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
