i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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