Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
