Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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