you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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