dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
