We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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