U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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